Amid the ever nearing hum that is the artfair extravaganza, artarts to the ready for what is going to be a blow away of openings, artparty mingling, canapé chomping and champers glugging couple of weeks.
Now the night before last, I was lucky enough to be at the opening night of Faust at the Royal Opera House. What an adventure we had, we were shuffled up the Royal box staircase like true Arttart fugitives to find solace in the grand tier of our tres expensive (please adopt a bad French accent) seats and lapped up the 3 hour operatic delight.
So yesterday there was the monkey tea party weather to accompany the pleasure of Doug Fishbone's installation of banana's a plenty, 30,000 to be precise in Trafalgar square, now traditional outside spaces are becoming the new white cube.
Then last night at Tate M, although slightly lacking on the canapé front; it would seem that your local pub snack that is the peanut, is the new black or rather all the Tate could rustle up for the Time Zones pv. But the show way out shone the poor bar snacks, definitely make a bee line through the incredibly well curated space to the wet dog video by Fiona Tan, my heart wept for the poor mut!, With Nick Serota looking rather lost, probably too many young scally's for his liking, TM made up for it with stunner Stuart Comer. While green eyes looked on, the recently Vic Miro nabbed Conrad Shawcross was admired from afar, girls you know who you are!
This rest of this week kicks off tonight with Eyes, Lies and Illusions at the, we did have a face lift, not just a paint job, honest, Hayward . Tomorrow there is Giles Round and Seb Patane's (to name but a few) show at Redux with an afterparty or maybe you would rather flashing lights boy, Martin Creed at Hauser and Wirth or lets push the boat out for some now legal paint action at Inspired down Portobello -way. And the day after tomorrow, why not pop by to see Sarah Baker at 1 000 000 MPH and skip into the weekend with laboured draughtsman, Tim Noble at Interim Art.
Now if that just isn't enough for you, I suggest you save your energy for next week's gargantuan torrent of events. Just to wet your appetite, we have Bruce Nauman, Sadie Coles promised to be Arttartfantabulous party, the opening of Frieze, Expander, sketch breakie and the art duo phenomenon of Payne and Relph. Gosh am Arttarted out from just thinking about it.
Lots of love my Arttartlets
Friday, 19 June 2009
Archive: Last of the september Arttart 28 Sep 04
I bet you thought I had forgotten all about you, how could I when you little Arttartlets having been practically biting the hand that feeds you with your wails and woo's of where is your up to the minute email saviour!, well my darlings I thought I would keep you waiting in anticipation for the review of my frolics of last week and delight you with the tales of this!
Firstly must mention fabulous canapés at Hamiltons, you truly out did yourself TJ pity the staff couldn't keep the glasses of bolly from shattering everywhere, I mean how an earth is an Arttart to survive in this ever becoming dangerous art world, wonders will never cease!
So if you missed B.A.W then you are just not British enough for moi! Cos the Tate did nothing but celebrate our sorry arses last week at TB, awash with the stuffy and new, TB attempted to delight us with acquisitions and a good ole shuffle around of the storerooms to see what they could muster up in the way of new exhibits!!!! Gosh poor Nick must be awfully bored with reinvention a plenty!
Now some of you may have trampled over to the lovely max wigram's gall, or others may have tried to catch a glimpse of old models at James Coleman's She's No Angel opening or even stretched further a field to ole Deptford for some revenge of romance, I did, but after the trauma that was the combination of tights, heels and some rather wobbly made John Bock wooden adventure playground in the ICA I just couldn't bare the thought of putting my Arttartness through another pv escapade!
The week came to and end with lashing of vodka and lovely Mathew Williamson adorned coca cola bottles at the closing party of Sophie Brown's curatorial delight at 3 Colts Gall and on the way home I was sure to pop by my fav bagel shop and grab one of those glorious salt beef and mustard pick me ups! East London , you just got to love it!
And now for something completely different …words of the week….“Brava” , now please make sure you do not confuse this with “Bravo” or “Rather” but use it as the word was intended, for example, watching some lovely men in coloured leotards from the San Fran ballet corp gallivant around on stage, when clapping commences, to show your appreciation, roar with pride, BRAVA! It works a treat! Gosh you really can't get the audiences these days!
Yeah yeah enough already, it is Arttartinis time, this weeks frivolities kick off with Martin kipperberger @ Gagosian Brit St , worth popping to just for a free bevvy! Dare I state the bleeding obvious? Next up, cheque books at the ready for the Art Review auction of recent RCA photography grads at the Great Eastern Hotel or maybe you would rather something more low key in the shape of Braveart at the atrium gallery at Whiteleys of all places for. Now if you have the petrol, get on up oxford way for a miss swain, shouldn't miss pv. And they just keep on rolling in, as if we hadn't had enough more RCA grads at the Hiscox building or maybe you would rather a little Welcome Trust action a la the Science Museum !
By golly Arttartkids tis really the week for it !!!!!
The Arttart has spoken xxxxx
Firstly must mention fabulous canapés at Hamiltons, you truly out did yourself TJ pity the staff couldn't keep the glasses of bolly from shattering everywhere, I mean how an earth is an Arttart to survive in this ever becoming dangerous art world, wonders will never cease!
So if you missed B.A.W then you are just not British enough for moi! Cos the Tate did nothing but celebrate our sorry arses last week at TB, awash with the stuffy and new, TB attempted to delight us with acquisitions and a good ole shuffle around of the storerooms to see what they could muster up in the way of new exhibits!!!! Gosh poor Nick must be awfully bored with reinvention a plenty!
Now some of you may have trampled over to the lovely max wigram's gall, or others may have tried to catch a glimpse of old models at James Coleman's She's No Angel opening or even stretched further a field to ole Deptford for some revenge of romance, I did, but after the trauma that was the combination of tights, heels and some rather wobbly made John Bock wooden adventure playground in the ICA I just couldn't bare the thought of putting my Arttartness through another pv escapade!
The week came to and end with lashing of vodka and lovely Mathew Williamson adorned coca cola bottles at the closing party of Sophie Brown's curatorial delight at 3 Colts Gall and on the way home I was sure to pop by my fav bagel shop and grab one of those glorious salt beef and mustard pick me ups! East London , you just got to love it!
And now for something completely different …words of the week….“Brava” , now please make sure you do not confuse this with “Bravo” or “Rather” but use it as the word was intended, for example, watching some lovely men in coloured leotards from the San Fran ballet corp gallivant around on stage, when clapping commences, to show your appreciation, roar with pride, BRAVA! It works a treat! Gosh you really can't get the audiences these days!
Yeah yeah enough already, it is Arttartinis time, this weeks frivolities kick off with Martin kipperberger @ Gagosian Brit St , worth popping to just for a free bevvy! Dare I state the bleeding obvious? Next up, cheque books at the ready for the Art Review auction of recent RCA photography grads at the Great Eastern Hotel or maybe you would rather something more low key in the shape of Braveart at the atrium gallery at Whiteleys of all places for. Now if you have the petrol, get on up oxford way for a miss swain, shouldn't miss pv. And they just keep on rolling in, as if we hadn't had enough more RCA grads at the Hiscox building or maybe you would rather a little Welcome Trust action a la the Science Museum !
By golly Arttartkids tis really the week for it !!!!!
The Arttart has spoken xxxxx
Archive: True Arttart never sleeps 13 Sep 04
Well my darlings, what a week we had, the spills, the frills, the hoorah's, the delights and the frights.
Phaidon by far rocked 3 little ladies world in north London , in the ole Saatchi haunt, wonders will never cease, why on earth he ever moved to tout the south bank! Cocktails were served till the bitter end however poor show on the ceramic buckets of bread sticks and Sainsbury style yoghurt dips. But to make up for it there were lashings of eye candy for both sexes, which till now has been rather thin. Oh sit down at the back you pretty boys, we weren't talking about you!
Now I am not sure if words can completely explain the realisation that even Celine Dion can be really very super cool, well that is if Alain Platel gets his hands on her. About 20 dogs, crazy set design and a very eclectic mix of dancers and opera singers adorned Sadlers Wells stage to really titillate all your senses, all I can say is WOW.
The down side of last week was Gagosian's Brittannia St's poor excuse for an exhibition; I mean why bother, if the art can't keep up with your private view beverage!
So tonight kicks off with Glenn Brown at the Serp, a little too muddy for my gold ballet pumps, but well worth a Wellington stroll across the park. Now tomorrow we have a real treat in store, how do ya fancy a bit of Parky and not the TV kind, no mister man behind the camera Norman ? Yes oh yes please Tim Jefferies can we have some photies to keep the abode looking dapper!
With the weekend slowly creeping in, trek down to deepest darkest Camberwell to check out what Steve McQueen has been up to at South London gallery and to truly kick into the weekend have a swig of Liverpool Biennial or if you want something a little more lukewarm and close to home, I think new space Spitfire's installation piece by Marta Marce might be just what you are looking for.
Keep your eyes peeled my little Arttartents for stories of frivolity and true debauchery next week.
Arttart if you know what is good for you xxx
Phaidon by far rocked 3 little ladies world in north London , in the ole Saatchi haunt, wonders will never cease, why on earth he ever moved to tout the south bank! Cocktails were served till the bitter end however poor show on the ceramic buckets of bread sticks and Sainsbury style yoghurt dips. But to make up for it there were lashings of eye candy for both sexes, which till now has been rather thin. Oh sit down at the back you pretty boys, we weren't talking about you!
Now I am not sure if words can completely explain the realisation that even Celine Dion can be really very super cool, well that is if Alain Platel gets his hands on her. About 20 dogs, crazy set design and a very eclectic mix of dancers and opera singers adorned Sadlers Wells stage to really titillate all your senses, all I can say is WOW.
The down side of last week was Gagosian's Brittannia St's poor excuse for an exhibition; I mean why bother, if the art can't keep up with your private view beverage!
So tonight kicks off with Glenn Brown at the Serp, a little too muddy for my gold ballet pumps, but well worth a Wellington stroll across the park. Now tomorrow we have a real treat in store, how do ya fancy a bit of Parky and not the TV kind, no mister man behind the camera Norman ? Yes oh yes please Tim Jefferies can we have some photies to keep the abode looking dapper!
With the weekend slowly creeping in, trek down to deepest darkest Camberwell to check out what Steve McQueen has been up to at South London gallery and to truly kick into the weekend have a swig of Liverpool Biennial or if you want something a little more lukewarm and close to home, I think new space Spitfire's installation piece by Marta Marce might be just what you are looking for.
Keep your eyes peeled my little Arttartents for stories of frivolity and true debauchery next week.
Arttart if you know what is good for you xxx
Archive: Arttart is the word 07 Sep 04
Well my Arttartonians yes tis here again, the only thing that keeps you glued to the comp in anticipation has arrived once more, and gollly gosh what a week we have for you.
Tonight, oh yes tonight, for those of you with a finger on the pulse, you need no notice but for those of you with a schedule as long as my arm, apols! So what part of town do you fancy, where haven't you frequented in a while, cos we have it all for you, bit of Piccadilly, well then get going to the rather fabulous old bank, no show is ever going to be as good as the opener Paul McCarthy, Hauser and Wirth. Or if you would rather some south river trail maybe the Jerwood drawing prize is the thing for you. The lovely cycling Stephen Walter will be exhibiting his wears. Otherwise I will be seeing you at good ole Larry's new dive, where the MDB hasn't discovered head and shoulders and the space overshadows the work!
Blimey could it be getting anymore hectic, it is just so mammoth this week, many, many lovely Arttartlet parties to be seen at, so tomorrow kicks off with the more private than private underground chamber off the Strand for Greg Rook's ‘Salvation is a cowgirl' at Adam St, then mosey on down to the launch of Man in the Holecene, and if you have the Phaidon invites get down to the old Saatchi space on boundary road for some celeb shoulder rubbing for the launch of Patons Republic, gorgeous b/w prints of actors and politicians, always a good mix.
Day after tomorrow if you still have the energy, by god yes we have, all true Arttarts should be able to make the whole week of soirée's without complaining about their aching bones and weary feet! So feast your eyes on Sam Dargan 's adorable paintings over at the Prenelle gallery, it's a floating gallery don't you know in canary wharf alternatively I am skipping the art for one night, dare I say this? And jumping on the music and theatre bandwagon and going to the opening of Wolf and maybe catching some rather hush improve mini gig at a music shop, no, no, no I didn't say that honest.
Do we have a break a hear you cry, never. The onslaught of events reaches a pinnacle with Daniels 31 st birthday, need I say more! And if you still haven't had enough and want your Arttarting to carry on into the weekend then party east way at Vic Miro and Modern Art. Well that about covers everything; think I may have to report back on the progress of this week! Seeing as it is cram packed with some real corkers.
kisses my little Arttart poppets
Tonight, oh yes tonight, for those of you with a finger on the pulse, you need no notice but for those of you with a schedule as long as my arm, apols! So what part of town do you fancy, where haven't you frequented in a while, cos we have it all for you, bit of Piccadilly, well then get going to the rather fabulous old bank, no show is ever going to be as good as the opener Paul McCarthy, Hauser and Wirth. Or if you would rather some south river trail maybe the Jerwood drawing prize is the thing for you. The lovely cycling Stephen Walter will be exhibiting his wears. Otherwise I will be seeing you at good ole Larry's new dive, where the MDB hasn't discovered head and shoulders and the space overshadows the work!
Blimey could it be getting anymore hectic, it is just so mammoth this week, many, many lovely Arttartlet parties to be seen at, so tomorrow kicks off with the more private than private underground chamber off the Strand for Greg Rook's ‘Salvation is a cowgirl' at Adam St, then mosey on down to the launch of Man in the Holecene, and if you have the Phaidon invites get down to the old Saatchi space on boundary road for some celeb shoulder rubbing for the launch of Patons Republic, gorgeous b/w prints of actors and politicians, always a good mix.
Day after tomorrow if you still have the energy, by god yes we have, all true Arttarts should be able to make the whole week of soirée's without complaining about their aching bones and weary feet! So feast your eyes on Sam Dargan 's adorable paintings over at the Prenelle gallery, it's a floating gallery don't you know in canary wharf alternatively I am skipping the art for one night, dare I say this? And jumping on the music and theatre bandwagon and going to the opening of Wolf and maybe catching some rather hush improve mini gig at a music shop, no, no, no I didn't say that honest.
Do we have a break a hear you cry, never. The onslaught of events reaches a pinnacle with Daniels 31 st birthday, need I say more! And if you still haven't had enough and want your Arttarting to carry on into the weekend then party east way at Vic Miro and Modern Art. Well that about covers everything; think I may have to report back on the progress of this week! Seeing as it is cram packed with some real corkers.
kisses my little Arttart poppets
Archive: Arttarting Season Open.... 1 Sep 04
So as we say a jolly good riddance to the never was there summer sun we embrace the onslaught of a rather fabulous art party September heaven.
Yes art tartlets, you thought I had forgotten all about you, oh no, I was just catching up on some fresh French alpine air to get me in the mood for the stampede of events coming this way. Obviously it is all kicking off with the lovely miss Sophie Brown’s curated show at the 3 Colts Gallery in good ole Bethnal green this coming Friday 3rd Sep. Yes you wanna be there checking out the art and up and coming talent that will be ozzing from ever orifice if you know what's good for ya! Just in case it had evaporated from your memories, PV starts at 6.30, well you know it has been a while.
Three Colts Gallery, Unit 207 (2nd Floor), Greenheath Business Centre, Three Colts Lane
Bethnal Green, London E2
Now if you are not there for registration as you should be, I certainly hope to see your faces at next weeks ridiculous number of affairs all starting off with a little bit of drawing, wirth and brittania action, watch this space……………………..
Art tart and out!
Yes art tartlets, you thought I had forgotten all about you, oh no, I was just catching up on some fresh French alpine air to get me in the mood for the stampede of events coming this way. Obviously it is all kicking off with the lovely miss Sophie Brown’s curated show at the 3 Colts Gallery in good ole Bethnal green this coming Friday 3rd Sep. Yes you wanna be there checking out the art and up and coming talent that will be ozzing from ever orifice if you know what's good for ya! Just in case it had evaporated from your memories, PV starts at 6.30, well you know it has been a while.
Three Colts Gallery, Unit 207 (2nd Floor), Greenheath Business Centre, Three Colts Lane
Bethnal Green, London E2
Now if you are not there for registration as you should be, I certainly hope to see your faces at next weeks ridiculous number of affairs all starting off with a little bit of drawing, wirth and brittania action, watch this space……………………..
Art tart and out!
Archive: Trials and Tribulations of an Art Tart Apr 03
So there you are, a budding artist trying to tap into the London art world for its up n'coming attractions as well as its tradtion and suddenly you find yourself in a whirl wind that is today's art scene, free drinks a flowing and maybe the odd canape if you wangle a vvvvvvip invite, fashion victims a plenty, celeb packed members bars with wanna be hangers on, not to mention the stimulating conversation and a few lechy men which is to be unfortuatley expected!
So Becks Futures was the place to be last week with buckets of free beer a plenty. Many artist sporting bad fashion statements, Liz Neal with a new hair doo (oh dear!), Neil Rummings was spotted floating around most probably still reeling from not winning last year and Jamie from the now defunct Jamtart.com reign looking quite frankly a little sheepish. It transpires that the mad man who swewd wood to his feet all in the name of art is a big fat con - well would you expect anything less from today's art wanna bees?
So while attempting to spot new bate to swoop down on the evening took an unexpected turn and before you know it there you are lying over three men in the back of a very tiny car, which for some one such as myself who is vertically challenged is not exactly how a lady of leisure wishes to be chauffered around, having said this, the car belonged to the guy everybody wants to know and we were being driven to the latest haunt for all high flying celebs, Sketch. So there we were Mohito's by the dozen, pod (their slant on the 21st century toilet cubicle - more like a scene out of Alien) excursions at the ready, Clive Owen spotting and a guy who used to work for Kids TV so not quite the high profile one might have been hoping for but then you heard it here first that a place that opens in December is quite frankly out of date by January!
So Becks Futures was the place to be last week with buckets of free beer a plenty. Many artist sporting bad fashion statements, Liz Neal with a new hair doo (oh dear!), Neil Rummings was spotted floating around most probably still reeling from not winning last year and Jamie from the now defunct Jamtart.com reign looking quite frankly a little sheepish. It transpires that the mad man who swewd wood to his feet all in the name of art is a big fat con - well would you expect anything less from today's art wanna bees?
So while attempting to spot new bate to swoop down on the evening took an unexpected turn and before you know it there you are lying over three men in the back of a very tiny car, which for some one such as myself who is vertically challenged is not exactly how a lady of leisure wishes to be chauffered around, having said this, the car belonged to the guy everybody wants to know and we were being driven to the latest haunt for all high flying celebs, Sketch. So there we were Mohito's by the dozen, pod (their slant on the 21st century toilet cubicle - more like a scene out of Alien) excursions at the ready, Clive Owen spotting and a guy who used to work for Kids TV so not quite the high profile one might have been hoping for but then you heard it here first that a place that opens in December is quite frankly out of date by January!
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